Who? What? Where? When?

Living with a four-year-old is fun and frustrating in equal measure.  My particular model never stops fidgeting, touching things and talking.  In particular, the questions never seem to end.

Today I made a note of all the questions that he asked over a six-hour period.  Bear in mind that this represents barely half of our normal day.  Plus I actually got about an hour’s peace while he was sitting in the shopping trolley and playing with his ipod.

This is how my day went (from about 9am to about 3pm)

Can I play Gator Golf?
Can I play Hungry Hippos?
When can we go to Cadbury World?
Who’s that man?
Can we do penguin dancing when we get home?
What is that lady doing out there?
Where’s my food?
What’s that?
Why does it have a picture of a house on it?
Did you see Tracey?
When can we watch Rio again?
Why do they have cheese potatoes?
Why is there a table for the workers?
Who’s that man?
What are we doing at the weekend?
Can I have my food first?
When can we go to Chessington again?
When can we go to Alton Towers again?
All houses are white aren’t they?
Why not?
What colour is our house?
What colour is brick colour?
Why did they choose that colour?
Why didn’t you live together in a flat?
Why is there a picture of that?
Why is there a picture of a kitkat?
What happened?
How old will I be when you’re dead?
How old do you think I’ll be?
Will you be sad when you’re dead?
Will you be sad when I’m dead?
Why will you be very sad?
How old can you stay alive for?
Do some people live to be a thousand?
How else can you stay alive for?
Has Betty got Snow White yet?
How do you know?
When did you see it?
What does psychic mean?
Is the flower shop next door?
Did you know penguins can hold their breath for twenty minutes?
What does my breath smell of?
And what else?
And what else?
What will Poppy’s first word be?
Will it be cheese?
Will it be chocolate?
Why is it difficult to say?
There’s twelve tables isn’t there?
Can we sing baa baa black sheep on the way?
Can I have a big bit of drink?
When is it the weekend?
When can we go on a seaside holiday again?
Please may I have pudding?
Can we go home?
Can we buy some flowers?
If someone steals our flowers can we get some?
Why aren’t we selling the house any more?
When’s all the paperwork going to be done?
Why are we stuck together?
Why are you walking slowly?
Can I play with my phone?
What did he say?
Why did he say that?
Why is he a Pirate?
When can we go on the 322?
Are we going straight to the supermarket?
How do you know?
Why don’t we have a gate anymore?
How are we going to get a fence again?
How do you know?
Have you been there before?
How do you like that?
Why are we going to the supermarket?
What are we having for lunch?
Is it Monday next week?
Can you do this for me?
Can I put this down now?
Is police cars faster than normal cars?
What’s criminals?
Why are they called criminals?
What kind of things?
And what else?
People who crash?
Why sometimes the police comes?
Why doesn’t it work in that one?
Can I have my phone now?
When can we go to Legoland?
Why is it called Legoland?
But why does it have Lego anyway?
Can we go to Morrisons?
Are we going there?
Can I have my phone in the supermarket?
Can I sit in the trolley?
Why did you choose one with two seats?
Why is that all they’ve got?
Can I have chocolate yoghurt?
Can I have a magazine?
Can I have chocolate?
How much shopping did we get?
What comes after 39?
What comes after 49?
Is it dark in here?
Can you see my Paulton’s Park map?
When I am Ruby’s age she will be 9 won’t she?
Why will she be 12?
Who are you sending a message to?
Can you turn the lights on?
Can I have the Jake music?
Can I have your wedding music?
Why did you let Sarah look after me instead of taking me yourself?
How much times have I had this?
When are we going to Sarah’s?
Did you ask Kate and Betty as well?
Can you ask Kate and Betty next time?
I’ll be five the next time we go to Alton towers won’t I?
Because it’s my birthday soon isn’t it?
Nor really soon but quite soon?
Can we go to that park this afternoon?
What did he call to say?
Post what things?
Who is our solicitor?
What’s her other name?
Where’s the post office?
Can I sit in the car while you go to the post office?
Can we park here?
Please can I have sweets?
Why did you say four?
When are we going home?
Can I have sweets?
What are we having for lunch?
Where is the map from Alice in Wonderland?
Why are we driving this way?
When can we go to that park?
Are you watching?
Shall I go and tell them it’s not a bench it’s a roundabout?
Can you push me really high?
Can you make it stop?
Can you reach me?
Can you get my foot out?
I went all the way round didn’t I?
Who can I hear shouting?
Is that learning?
Why have they got yellow?
Is there no such thing as superheroes in this world?
Can I call Nanny to tell her we’ve got 14 Disney cards?
When will lunch be ready?
Can we make a chocolate lolly?
What’s a mould?
Can we watch TV please?
Is lunch ready?
Where are my sausages?
Why have you given me four – I said five?
Didn’t you hear me?
What can we have for pudding?
Can you open it?
Did you have that when you were little?
Am I too big for it now?
Please can I have another pudding?
Can I have yoghurt?
Why do they put it in a strawberry?
Can I play on the computer?
How does this game work?
Can I have another pudding?
Can you get me a spoon?
Can we make these now?
This glue?
Why isn’t it coming out?
Why is it still not coming out?
How do you know?
Where’s the red one?
Is it finished?
Now what can we do?
Was that a police car on this programme?
What is this?
Can I have a go?
How does it work?
Please can I have a go?
How did you cut this off?
Can I rip it?
What begins with a c?

In case you weren’t counting, that is around 180 questions, which works out to be one every two minutes.  And of course every single one of these questions required an answer.

So I think it’s hardly surprising that by the end of the day I can barely string a sentence together, never mind write a blog post.


Here’s Some I Made Earlier

Last Christmas a lot of the presents we gave were handmade (by me.)  In fact, most of them were.

I don’t quite know where the idea for giving only handmade gifts came from.  It might have been that I was feeling disillusioned with the whole Christmas shopping experience.   In the run up to Christmas, shops are full of things that no-one really wants or will ever use, many of them specifically created to fill non-existent gaps in people’s stockings.  Much as I love shopping, I can’t get excited by spending money on something that will end up gathering dust in the back of someone’s cupboard.

It may also have been partly prompted by a desire to keep our credit card bill at a manageable level.

But mostly it was because I enjoy making things, and I kept coming across good ideas.  I won’t deny that it was a massive undertaking, beginning in August and only completed – in a bit of a panic – just before the day itself (by which time it had become clear that making my own wrapping paper was probably a step too far.)

It was hard work, very time consuming, but ultimately quite satisfying, and – I think – appreciated.

Behold the fruits of my labours:

Handmade Presents Christmas 2010

In traditional left-to-right, top-to-bottom fashion, you should be able to see: skittles, colouring books, photo calendars, story books, a cookbook with spice mixes, puzzle books, bath fizzers, flavoured vodkas, marmalade, cupcake flannels, juggling balls, taggie blanket, jingle cube, handmade cards, photos, paper wallets, pen pots, apron, car seat tidy, “moment of calm” bags, seed paper shapes, cookie mixes, mobile phone holder, book safe, sewing kit, handbag bra, folding bag, pints of socks, curry mixes, shortbread, fish seeds, stress ball, record bowls, sock monkeys, surprise balls, and a ring pull bracelet.

If you feel inspired and want to get started early for Christmas 2011, keep watching.  I’ll be posting links, photos, instructions and ideas for some of these creations anon.

First Post

Well, it has taken me more than a year to get a blog set up – not because it is technically difficult but because I am an expert procrastinator.  It’s one of the skills you quickly acquire when you work from home.  

But now I am officially out of excuses.  Last week I found a few free moments, a 3G signal, a WordPress app, and a blog name that hadn’t already been taken.  This week I acquired an iPad and found a few more moments to write my first post. 

And with that, I am all set to inflict my trivial ramblings on an unsuspecting (and largely uninterested) world.   Watch this space!